BREAKING: Over 2,000 Pigs Have Escaped Being Turned into Bacon

Yesterday, some Ohio piglets made the first ever successful pig prison break. After a semi-truck transporting them overturned on Route 35, 2,200 piglets made a run for it. Unfortunately, pigs are experts at hiding in heavily wooded areas. Volunteers have joined the local police force in a search-and-rescue style mission to return the piglets to their farm. Many of the fugitives are still at large and may even be altering their appearance to try to blend in to their surroundings.   Why do we need to catch these pigs? Because if we don’t, they can’t be turned into bacon. Truly a disaster.

Don’t be fooled by the stealthy camouflage. There is, in fact, a piglet in this picture.


Join the task force and keep your eyes peeled for any rogue swine trying to pass as Ohio residents. For example, this is an escaped fugitive pig, not a well-dressed young lady.


And believe it or not, this is NOT actually a cow. (Spoiler: cows can’t be turned into bacon.)


Some of the piglets may have already made it down to Florida. If you are at Disney World, make sure you don’t get tricked into taking pictures with the wrong Mickey Mouse.


For any Midwest readers, these are not cowboys. They are ACTUAL PIGLETS! If you see them, turn them in! … so they can be turned into bacon.


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